Haziqah’s blog

Hey,reason why I have not been updating is because I write in another blog which you guys can change you link to

Click here for my new blog.

Today I wrote something that really broke my heart,even though it sounded cheesy.I am so sad right now there is no single word that could replace it.Not even sad.

So yea.

Hope you like the new blog!

I did the whole presentation @ 3 am and the stupidmoron me forgotten to save it and well she closed the microsoft window.

I could not sleep after that and I was wondering why so tried finding for my bloody presentation but of course I could not find it.

So here I am re-doing it all over again.

I don't even know whether my presentation is right!!

New social movement= I hate you.

Anyway off to do more work for next week.

*@#$%*#&@*#*@

I have 1 major & 2 minor subjects and they suddenly gave me a workload( BIG TIME) in summer term! I hate them! However, even though I am so busy I still fall asleep for long hours like I cannot help it OR I can't sleep at all.
Right now I have to prepare for 3 presentation and 2 assignments due in the same week, NEXT WEEK.

I don't even have time for my friends anymore,minus the time when I had barbeque for Malaysian Society and during seminar sessions. I don't go out to clubs nor do I have my weekend.Oh and I miss Karina.I shall call her this week.Have not seen her since Cambridge visit in Easter.

I am having my exams exactly from ONE MONTH NOW and I am freaking out BIG TIME.

I need to feed myself.Worms are getting cranky in my stomach!

What shall I cook?Well I skipped lunch since I fell asleep due to the sleepy aura that has been put in my room BUT I had to big breakfast this morning.I am not even sure whether I am getting fatter or thinner.

I have 884 request to be DELETED but its just taking up my space of time.Maybe I shall make it reach 1000 wooohoo! I wonder what is the record for having applications that has not been approved or deleted.

By the way, I am sorry I have not replied emails but I WILL okok!soon.

" Oh the swan showing off to me"
"PFFT stupid swan so many ppl take pictures of it.Not pretty also!"
"4 ppl take picture of it already!!"
"The swan shoff off,stuck up tht! So proud cuz so white even the husband!So obvious right she cheat on him.Slut"

Sentences from Mandela.
He gets cranky,weird and a little bit nuts when exams are coming.
Good luck to everyone for exams!

Alysha screamed in my ear at 1.09 am UK time saying

"I AM FREAKING OUT.I AM GOING TO UK!MY DAD WON'T LET ME BUY MY OWN HOUSE!I AM GOING TO STAY IN A ROOM!CAN I SEE HOW YOUR ROOM LOOKS LIKE?NOW!!!!POST IT ON UR BLOG!"

Despite she sounding like a total brat,she is is.She just have her moments like everyone else.

Anyway this is a video I took quite a while back to be sent to Ja.I do not know why my voice sounds like a kid and chinese-y.

Hey everyone who read my long lost blog. I have be quite busy or actually think I am busy and will be for the next month.I have 3 presentation,2 assignment and 4 exams this month.Well May and July that is.It might sound easy but it is not,especially when your marks or your way to second year is counting on it.

Anyway my holiday for easter in London/Cambridge/Paris for the last month has been fabulous and it wouldn't be if not for Mandela who has been stuck with me and I know it has been hard knowing I like to order around and sulk alot.

Anyway back in Lancaster even though it is just the weekend I feel myself being under pressure with the workload and well, I am not ready for exams. I wish I have a text book so I would feel much more better but I don't. I have depend on reading and the library. I wish I stayed near the library. I wish I was just living in the basement of the library actaully but how scary would that be.

have two more months,well actually just 7 weeks before I finish my first year.I would love to celebrate after that but thinking about packing and putting this stuff in the  storage is just going to give myself a big headache. I think I better pack before my last exam :)

Before I go back to Malaysia, I would want to meet up with each and everyone of my friend who is not from Malaysia or not going back. Omg I really can't wait to go back Malaysia.

Anyway will have to continue finishing my IQA FREE-STRESS DAY with watching a korean show.

 TTYL.

I am complicated.I try to make myself and other people think I am not complicated but when I shop down oxford circus after shopping at Zara and TopShop, I decided that I am complicated plus with a lot of things to say in my mind.However the things I would love to say in my mind then could not be typed out here right now, because I can't really seem to remember it.

I remember me saying "I like that guy" who sat inf front of me in the tube.This chinese/korean/japanese or whatever was really cute,maybe a little out of my league but he look like this preppy/urban kid who is about my age who wants to go out and have do his homework or something.Thats what I thought until he came out of Picadilly Circus.But then again, let me correct you. I said I like him,but do remember I have a boyfriend so yes, I just think he is cute. Its alright.

 Anyway I was in TopShop when I went out and I went to the LG floor.I saw the cloths there and ALL I COULD THOUGHT OF was Sarah Ayesha and Lisa Jane. Maybe it was all vintage,I dunno. Oh and Rah, if you are reading this it seriously was not because you are white just like the others okok? Haha.

I even thought of pinboards.Well I stayed over my sisters place last night so I could see the different way people hang their stuff. Shanaz was neat and everything was literally black and white.Ra was quite messy but her stuff was quite important and well compared to mine, MINE was so messy,full with pictures of my friends and well,stuff I like to pick up,postcards,cute pictures and stuff like that.

I think my future is important to me.Well at least I think I do.It has to be or not where would I be living right?I can't depend on my family forever.I have to pay them one day and I don't think its even payable cuz it costs so much more. However I can't really see myself WORKING.I never worked before. The work I have done is different,its was as if I was spoon-fed.My whole like I was breastfeed by other people and never once I tried to do something on my own. Well fine, I went to university on my own and I handled everything that was suppose to be handled by my own but that was seriously pretty easy.

My best friends look at me as if I am confident.Well I think I am but I am emotional.I can't be angry and if someone scolds me or raise their voice, I cry and I will sulk.Until now,at this age when I am going to turn 19. I am not heartedly strong but I CAN BE STRONG if my friends or family needed me too.However, I cant be strong for myself. I hate the fact when people think I am not as willing or too "bimbotic" in some sense to do things. I may complain about hot it is but does not mean I won't do the work.I may nag how tiring it is to maybe walk the stairs but I WILL if I have to.

Even if I am not STRONG emotionally I have the best willpower to finish something even if it is delayed.
Just like the puzzle I bought for Mandela and I to do,we connected the puzzles  but well something happened and it is back in the box but it is just DELAYED, its not that we gave up. I never gave up even though I face failures because thats not who I am.

Anyway this is just my rants.I hear people's problems 24/7 and they think my life is kind of perfect,but I am just the same like anyone else. We have our lives and we can't run away from it,we just have to live it our way,no matter what they say about destiny,we could change it if we want to. I am happy that I have the people I have right now in my life,content is the right word but I want more,not people but a better ME.

I honestly miss my family and friends back home.Hopefully they know no matter where I am I will always love them.

I was going on facebook just after showering and I was going through photos put up as albums by my friends and I was going through them and my heart stop beating,literally.
 
Everyone seems to have somehow change as if they are complete strangers to me.The people they hang out with,they way they act and even the way they dress.Everything thats possible to be told when you look at a picture.

It is not bad,definitely because maybe I have change but the thing is WHAT part of me has change?

I feel as if everyone is changing and I am the one getting left out.

Oh well.

Maybe its for the best.

Or for the worse.

Its 3.46 pm and I just woke up.If my parents knew I have been sleeping late and waking up in the middle of the day everyday for the past week, I think they would kill me. Anyway, I have not brush my teeth and it smells like rotten milk,I guess.Too bad you guys just have to read instead of being here face to face to hear me talk.

I just got back from Cambridge yesterday and Mand and I have been watching Dirty Sexy Money show till episode 10 when we realize that there are no more until Fall this year due to the writers strike.Bummer.

Anyway I am off to shower my stinking body and gonna cook later on.

Was just wondering though, If a person keep having dream EVERY night without fail and it is almost SIMILAR does it mean anything?

<3